Where's the humor on here?

Not sure I really agree with this being a born'n'bred Aussie, but here goes...

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs, when he noticed a golden telephone
mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by, what the telephone was used for.
Priest replied that it was a direct line to Heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large Cathedral, he saw the same looking golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
'O.K., thank you,' said the American.
He then traveled all across America , Europe, England, Japan , New Zealand ... In every church he saw the same golden telephone, with the same '$US10,000 per call' sign under it.
The American decided to travel to Australia to see if Australians had the same phone.
He arrived at Brisbane in Australia and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same looking golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read, '40 cents per call.'
The American was surprised, so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over the world and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them, the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Australia now, son - "This is Heaven," so it's a local call'.

 

Watch out for Tea

 

Complete and finished;

No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between"complete" and "finished."However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London and attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Sam, a proficient linguist, was the presenter when he was asked to make that very distinction.

The question put to him by a colleague in the audience was this: Some say there is no difference between complete and finished. Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.

Sam's response: When you marry the right woman, you are complete. If you marry the wrong woman, you are finished. And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are "Completely finished".

His answer received a five minute standing ovation!

 

Two Policeman (Constable Ken & Bob) call the station on the radio;
"Hello is this the Sarge?"
"Yes"
"We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had just mopped"
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"NO Sir... The floor is still wet".....

 

A bit of "Aussie Humour"
Hilarious take on an Aussie camping trip
Hilarious take on an Aussie camping trip

 

Next time your Dear Asawa asks you if you would like "Sweat Rice" for lunch, do NOT simply dismiss it as an accent trick on the ears!

sweat rice - Caribbean Dictionary