Bow-Chika-Bow-Bow

Customer: “This DVD player doesn’t work. It won’t play my DVDs. Can I get an exchange?”

Me: “Well, lets see if we can get it to work.”

(I take the DVD player over to the AV wall and quickly hook it up to our system. Under 30 seconds to do so, the customer in tow)

Me: “Oh, here’s the problem. It seems that the disc somehow ended up upside down in the DVD player.”

(I flip the DVD over without even looking at the disc or anything and push it back in, turning back to the customer)

Customer: “Oh great! I knew something wasn’t quite ri…”

(Suddenly, coming up on all my TVs, blaring through the sound system that is usually playing a music DVD, comes blasting ‘Bow Chicka-Bow Bow!’ and a rather grotesque scene of cheesy porn. I think it is the fastest I have ever moved, because by the time the first customer turned around to see what was going on, I had the AV cables yanked)

Customer: “Uh… That’s where that went! Heh…” *VERY sheepish look*

Me: “Okay, all fixed. Need me to help put this back in the box for you?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I can do it. Thank you for all your help.”

(I guess I wasn’t quick enough or just the sheer recognition of the music line, because I had two customers laughing very hard and one old lady who walked out very fast)
:D :D

 

Post-it car :D Do this to your boss's car if he's horrid to you

 

The Buttocks or Kiss my A$$

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body; because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you? "My darling", she replied. "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

 

Ha ha ha. What if the Kumpare sees the cheek and says, "Looks intimately familiar!" He he he.

 

Everything is possible :D

 

Bad hair day redefined :D

 

Holy mother of frog!!!

 

Irony :D :D

 

No Stairway to Heaven!