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Where's the humor on here?

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff' started by grandpainak, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. OP
    OP
    grandpainak

    grandpainak DI Forum Patron Showcase Reviewer

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    What is Easter?

    Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.

    St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful and stuff..."

    "Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?" The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and drink eggnog."

    St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"

    The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is." "Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

    "Easter is the Christian holiday, that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper. Then the Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder." St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.

    Then the third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out...and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."
     
  2. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    HAPPY EASTER TO YOU ALL.
     

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  3. Swany

    Swany DI Senior Member

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    I like this humour very much! The pic speaks for itself. Poor Pete! HAPPY EASTER TO YOU, too, Sar!
     
  4. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    Happy Easter to u Maj and hubby from the cold, wintry England.
     
  5. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    Happy Easter... from the cold, wintry england..:( :( :(
     

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  6. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    Here's Another One.
     

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  7. chrissar

    chrissar DI Senior Member

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    A Very Cool Dude...
     

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  8. Swany

    Swany DI Senior Member

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    Again, Happy Easter Sar! I enjoyed all these funny pics of animals. They made me smile and sometimes laugh by myself, hehehe :smile::D Thanks again for sharing these in this beautiful Easter Sunday.
     
  9. up2u

    up2u DI Junior Member

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    what are women made of ?

    Element: Woman

    Symbol: Wo/grl/ldy

    Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg; isotopes vary from 40 - 200 kg

    Occurrence: Copious quantities in all urban areas

    PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

    1. Surface usually covered with thin painted film

    2. Boils at room temperature

    3. Freezes without any known reason

    4. Melts if given special treatment

    5. Bitter if incorrectly used

    6. Found in various states, ranging from metals to Common ore

    7. Ductile

    8. Yields to pressure applied at correct points

    CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

    1. Have great affinity for gold, silver and a range of

    precious stones and absorbs great quantities of

    expensive substances.

    2. May explode spontaneously without prior warning

    and for no known reason.

    3. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol.

    4. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.


    COMMON USES:

    1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars

    2. Can be a great aid to relaxation

    3. Very effective cleaning agent

    TESTS:

    1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when happy

    2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen

    POTENTIAL HAZARDS:

    1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands

    2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several Can be

    maintained at different locations as long as specimens do

    not come into direct contact with each other


    WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE FINANCIAL HEMORRHAGING AND MENTAL DISTRESS.
     
  10. garbonzo

    garbonzo DI Senior Member Veteran Marines

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    A dog is truly a man's best friend.

    If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

    Put your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.

    When you open the boot, who is really happy to see you?
     
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